花样少年少女 Hana Kimi

Recently I watched a Taiwanese drama (花样少年少女) that is based on Japan manga Hanazakari no Kimitachi E (Hana Kimi). It's a great drama. Somehow, I'm touched by the story.. Reading the synopsis doesn't tell anything from the within, try to probe out further by watching the drama yourself and you'll know what I mean..

Life greatest happiness is to be convinced that we are loved by someone. Unrequited love is something unspoken yet true..

瑞希因为崇拜跳高选手左以泉
千里迢迢回国女扮男装进入与泉同一所男校(樱开男学院)
而且很幸运地和泉同宿舍
与泉和大家成了好朋友

瑞希发现泉
因为某种原因放弃了最爱的跳高
就默默地在身边鼓励他

瑞希这种傻呼呼却热情的个性让泉感动
渐渐地开启了自己的心灵
在不知不觉中爱上了瑞希
也发现了瑞希的真实身份

朝夕相处下泉喜欢上瑞希
泉为了让瑞希留在自己身边
想尽办法帮瑞希隐瞒她的女生身份
默默保护着粗心大意的瑞希..

欺骗你
其实是我最大的矛盾

我的伪装
是为了守护在你身边
我的隐瞒
是为了保持我们的感情

其实我很想偷偷爱着你
每天都守护在你身边


所以我每天都很努力地隐瞒
希望这谎言永远不会被撕破
希望我们永远会继续走下去

因为当谎言不再是谎言

而我不再是我
你还会理我吗

我的沉默

是为了把你留在身边
不揭穿你的身份
是为了维持我们的感情
也许是我自私
让你受那么多委屈

其实我..
不知道什么时候开始

已经偷偷爱上你了

这暧昧的感觉 也许

是我们之间的约定
也是我们的暗号

也许
暧昧的感觉是最美好的
其实 爱不需要任何人见证
只要彼此爱着对方
默默地守护着对方
那就足够了

Life

Imagine you witnessed your beloved one being cremated. You saw the coffin being pushed into the crematory (into the oven). You stood there, trying to reach your hand towards the coffin. Your tears rolled down the cheeks and you couldn't stop yelling his/her name. After that, everything turned into ashes including the corpse (your beloved one) and the coffin. Nothing was spared but the skeleton (the bones). You picked the skeleton (which was unrecognizable broken pieces) from the ashes with chopsticks and arranged the pieces accordingly (from head to toe) into a bottle and sealed it.

Holding the bottle in your arms, you couldn't stop sobbing. This, bottle of thing is a life of a human being. This is your beloved one, yesterday he/she was talking to me but today he/she is gone forever, turned into ashes and being kept in the bottle. God took him/her away from us without a reason, we keep on questioning but God tend not answer us.

Do this kind of situation sounds familiar to you? Maybe yes, maybe no. In person, I had been through this two years ago and it gave a huge impact on me. After that incident two years ago, I began to have faith about life. I began to know what is life about. It's ok, if you do not understand. (I'm crapping, as always..)

Kinda moody these days.. ahh.. There is a friend of mine, did I mention this before? He suffered catastrophe last year..if you could remember. He is getting well, but still unconscious. He was transferred to another hospital in Pandan Indah not long ago.

I was very down in the spur of moment. It has been a long time..about 6 months plus. When I was in NS, there was a moment that suddenly I thought of him. I contacted his dad (the very first time) and his dad was shocked though. Yea, what to do? I heard nothing from anyone and I was curious about his progress. (Man, I was so brave..) Hey friend, must take care okay..be tough! You can make it!! =)

I don't know, after witnessing that incident 2 years ago, I started to cherish the life of every living thing. I would cry for anyone who suffered mishaps, well sometime. (Don't freak out ok) This is true, I don't know why though. (Weird huh?) As the days marched on relentlessly, I had straightened out my thinking.

"Cherish our life" is something that is something that we should do, the next phrase which I think that will rhyme is "Live our life to the fullest, have no regrets!"

A Gathering

Today I had a gathering at Time Square with my NS friends. About 6 people turned out, including me, SY, Carmen, Candice, Carol, XM. Well supposing there should be more but some of them were not able to come, so..just a few of us. Anyway, despite of that we had a day together!

We went shopping and hanging out together. We went hunting for shoes but in the end after loitering around, we ended up with a word "failure" on our cheeks. Aw..how hard it was! Haha..you know I should have wear a 3-4 inches high heel shoe, lack of height. (Well, you know..) Especially walking beside Suet Yi and Carmen. Hey you two, next time walk with bare feet okay..^^

I miss u guys..it was great to gather again. It had been about a month we hadn't meet or hear from each other. Although we were just loitering around, but seeing each other is something way more important than anything else.

Today was the first time I stepped into Time Square this year. Can you believe that? Yea..after NS I hadn't go anywhere but staying at home. A lot of unexpected things happened and when the moment arrived it was time for preparation and it was about getting busy.

I miss my friends, from camp and from secondary school. Everyone is busy pursuing studies and some even moved far apart from KL. What can I say..I miss u all a lot. Sincerely, I wish you guys all the best in everything..love u guys always..^^

Mum Is Back..

Mum is back! Oh dearrr~ Being da boss in house is something kinda tough. Not actually the boss, you see..

I did the laundries. (Hand wash!)
I cleaned up the dishes. (Of couse hand-wash..)
I take care of the hygiene and sanitation. (Well um, hand wash again)

Ok, you will say what is the big deal right? Yea..you don't know me my dear. I'm so not good in these as you see, therefore God sent me to National Service. Well um, okay now I stop complaining about National Service.

Duh..I felt a sense of guilty.

My mum went to Kedah for a couple of days. So, you know as the elder daughter in the house, I'm supposed to do all the housework. No fair! What about brother? I did his laundries too! (There is no conclusion in this topic though..)

Mum returned home today, as usual, brought back a lot of stuffs. She got me a skirt, which I think is a little too long for my height. Haha.. Also, she brought back two "angpau"s from my grandma and my eldest uncle. I was like, wow..

Dad, see? where is mine?! Dadddddyyyyyy!!

They called the red packet as some kind of reward and prosperity. I don't know what to say. Holding the cash in hand, I have no idea what to do with them but deposit them to bank account. I felt like, you know receiving something without doing anything. I don't really like something that doesn't belong to me, or something for free without paying anything. I just don't know what to say..

Hey God, you sure that this is my slip peperiksaan? You sure? Pretty sure or very sure? Will someone from Jabatan Pendidikan call me tomorrow and say "Maaf cik, slip peperiksaan anda telah tersilap taip. Sebenarnya itu bukan keputusan spm anda."

Pray Hard and Move On..

Yea, after a few days of loafing around the house, kinda bored. These days, I have nothing to do. Well um, except for waiting interview calls? Anyway, we must have back-up plans right?

I've checked the forums, blogs, spent a whole day checking on JPA stuffs. JPA is for students with full A1s. Yea, full straight A1s. Even student with full A1s doesn't guarantee a scholarship. How crucial it is! This is the reality..

Besides, there is quota for the non-bumiputeras. The issue was hyped a long time ago and the fact that we, as non-bumis has less chances than the bumis. So, let say we have to choose, would you choose student with all A1s or with some A2s? Let's face the reality guys.. There is a saying tell us that, getting a JPA scholarship is like winning a lottery.

Competing with the best students among the best in Malaysia, can you imagine how competitive it is? I'm just, a tiny portion standing behind them. People says that "Wow, Val you are outstanding!". When you are in the competition like this, you will actually know what "outstanding" stands for. I'm not as good as you all think..

That day I had interview with 6 candidates, all of them had excellence result in academic. Me? I'm nothing being compared to them. I'm not good enough in my curricular activities, I have to admit that. Being a librarian for about 5 years is just not enough. Oww..

"We actually expect that you will get about 5As, or less," quoted by my mum. (Mum, stop being so crucial to your daughter!) Haha.. Getting the result that I have always wanted is really headache. This is true, if cukup makan, I could just close my eyes and pick any college. When it is more than cukup makan, there are a lot of choices and boundaries out there.

Fail to get JPA is not the end of the world. We all know that the chances are low. According to the statistics, it is almost impossible for students with no full straight A1s, especially non-bumis to obtain an offer from JPA. This is true, but miracle does happen sometime. Meanwhile praying so hard for JPA these few weeks, why don't we move on..

Yea, that's right. All the best to the pre-scholars..

Behind The Scenes

Many things altered. Response from parent, siblings, teachers, friends..I don't know how to face in the spur of moment. Even now I still can't believe what had happened..

I'm not a genius or born with talents for academic studies. I'm totally careless, clumsy and blur. (My mum can certified that, hehe!) Whenever we had government exams such as PTS, UPSR, PMR, SPM, my mum will walk around to temple and earnestly hope for blessing. You know, superstitious stuffs.

If you had noticed, my 2B pencils for exams were all chanted with incantations and red chops. My friends burst into laughter when they saw that. My mum knew that she couldn't help us in our studies, the only thing she could do is pray for us and did all the things for the sake of blessings. I was very touched though. Last year, there was a time when she went to Kedah for a few days. She called home and asked about my SPM angka giliran. I thought that she want to buy 4D, Toto, Magnum or something like that. Guess what? She “put” my name and angka giliran in a temple, something like that. And the interesting part was, the bomoh (what do you call that in English?) will chant my name and my angka giliran everyday for three months. It is something like this..

Lee Yin Wan, Angka Giliran WL071A070. Blessed her with good results in SPM. Blaalaaa...mali mali hom~
(Can you believe what my mum did? Oh my god..)

However, I appreciated all the good deeds she did for me. Although they sound really hilarious though, they were blessings from my mum. That day I told my parent about my result in phone, their voice of gratification was the best reward I ever received.

When I met Miss Chan See Ling, "Congratulations, your dad must be very proud of you!" I was like, huh huh.. I don't know what to say but nodding my head. I remembered that day I went to Cikgu Suzana, she almost broke into tears and hugged me. I will always remember the smell of her lipstick. Hehez!

When people ask, how is your daughter result? My dad unequivocally feels very proud to tell the others about it. Yea, my mum too. All the phone calls, aunties called and asked about my results. For once, my mum could show-off a bit in front of her friends. Erm, not actually show-off lar, my mum is a humble person. When the others said "Wahh, ur daughter so clever!", the feeling of honor as a mum, you know..

The end of secondary school education marks the beginning of a new life. A great result doesn’t assure a great future. We don't know what lays ahead us, but I believe that we are never given a wish without also a power to make it come true. =)

The Interview

Girl ar, pray more ok.."Amitabha" really works!
(Quoted by mum)

Go there gain experience, let my fuels and toll fee be worthy~
(Quoted by dad)

Go there have fun and return, that's all! You are not losing anything~
(Quoted by bro)

The nerve-wrecking moment had arrived. Today I had an interview in Putrajaya. Yesterday I was had been doing homeworks. It was said that the current issues would the possible interview questions. And so this morning, I woke up at about 6.30am and started my research. (I used to wake up at about 11am)

National Education Blueprint (Cluster School), RMK9, FTA, Visit Malaysia Year 2007, etc. As you know, I don't really read newspapers, well except for the entertainment section. Hehez! Seriously, I'm zeroing in general knowledge and the happenings around. Haha..

"Girl, got free time read more newspaper larr."
(Quoted by my mum)

But it's too late right? Haha.. Right, regardless my insufficient sleep, I woke up and did those topics and memorized all the facts and points. Well, I heard rumors about the interview in a forum. Some said that it will be in both Bahasa Melayu and English language, some said that maybe there will be an essay writing within half hour and all sorts. And so, I went through all of my BM notes, thank god I still kept them in my study room.

I was so tense as I went through all the notes. I had not been using the languages for a long time, about 4 months. Many of the terms I had already forgotten. When I was about to give up, I heard that there are many people out there appealing to get into the interview because unable to fulfill the requirements and was not shortlisted. They wanted the interview so much, but me? Well um, maybe it is not as bad as other people says, I told myself.

I reached there 50 minutes earlier and sneaking around. Some people attending with a huge coat (maybe parent's) and some wearing National Service class uniform. I saw a guy, attaching a tie on it. Kinda weird, but cute! (Have you seen postman wearing a tie?) All of them look so smart, genius-like. I looked around and tried to look for familiar faces. Friends? Anyone from Chong Hwa? Anyone here? Suddenly Suet Yi came in the scene. I was shocked, she wasn't there for the interview but for her friend. I'm glad that I met her. Miss her so much! Hehez!

The clock stroked twice and I was called with other six candidates, attaching a number 3 on my shirt. Both the panels were Malay ladies. We introduced ourselves in BM and then the discussion started in English. "Girls are better than Boys", the topic of our discussion. I was like, what? I memorized all the facts, even the politic facts and current issues! My godness! However, I'm so thankful for the topic because it is quite general. The panels started off the topic giving some gender issues and asked about our opinions. After that, there were questions about us and about our future plans stuffs. How friendly they were! I really adored them! We were like chating and having fun in the space, where I've totally forgotten how to spell the word "stress". That was a great and enjoyable interview. I heaved a sigh of relief. Phew~

Later on, we went for our psychology test. There were about 280 questions to be answered within half an hour. I think it was to test us whether we are normal after SPM. Psycho test! Haha.. All of those questions were about our interests and hobbies. It was quite easy but the hardest part is to finish them within 30 minutes. And then, the end of the interview!

I felt great relief after the interview. I went home and as I surfed the forum, I found out that my interview was very different from the others. The others had discussion in both BM and English and with more practical issues. I was so glad that I had great panels and topics..thank you all! =)

I'm exhausted. Trying to relax, get those fact stuffs outta my mind. Haha! I don't know what to comment about my presentation but I'm glad that I had this interview. The chances may be low as it is highly competitive as the candidates are brilliant genius with many As. (I dun think I fall in that category though) Anyway, I did my best and I'll just leave the rest to the God! (,'')