Camouflage

I don't really like concealing things are alright when they are not.
I'm good at it, though.

Longing for one

What I have been through these days, have corroborated my fortitude with much vigor. I’m longing for a scholarship more than anyone else.

I really need one to, at least, release my parents burden. If I were given a chance and opportunity, I’d turn things around. I will provide the best medication and a better living for my parents and people surrounding me.

Life is not only about achieving what we want, it holds much more than that; How we're going to preserve it, how we're going to sustain what we own right now.

Who knows

Negation and Ignorance
Attest no indication of giving in

At times I could be there grinning
With sanguine attitude about life and challenges
But who knows one day I could be wrong
Who knows one day when we wake up
Everything we grasped could be gone

Who knows one day we could injure our spine
And who knows we would have to spend few months
Going through physiotherapy and treatments
Aching at back and could barely walk
Who knows that it could cost our lives

Who knows
We could live for another day

Hope

Gawking with anticipation
Hope shrouded underneath the envelope
Something that I have been craving
For such a long time

Olge of hope
Filled with blessing and luster
I hold it close to my heart
And dropped it into the letterbox

It's going to work this time
I speak to myself

Skynet Service SUCKS

Skynet. Express Carrier of Choice.

I am not afraid of sharing my feedback as a customer here, I hope everyone who surf Google for "Skynet" will find my blog here. I am a customer and I have paid for courier service and yet received unsatisfying service.

This is the second time, I have had enough. Few months back, Skynet Melawati swapped my parcel with another company's parcel. I received a parcel, the slip was addressed to me but with things inside that did not belong to me. There were an invoice from other company, addressed to other people.

In the end, another person got my parcel and I got hers. Sending from different companies. How can a courier company make such mistake? What if confidential things were swapped? We're paying extra but not getting the right service, well at least, GETTING THE RIGHT PARCEL. Fine. In the end, we settled and exchanged the parcel back which I decided not to talk about it.

This time, I bought my ampoules; Tracking number NO: 201337366930. Ladies should know how precious ampoules are. My parcel arrived today. It was wrapped nicely, with quite a lot of layers of newspaper with a "fragile" sticker at the parcel.

I unwrapped it. At the corner of the newspaper, it feels wet. At the end, what I saw was..

One of my ampoules was broken. It had just been broken few moments ago when the delivery boy sent, I felt the dampness when I opened the parcel. My ampoule box ended up dyed and soaked in bloody red colour. I felt so dissapointed with Skynet. I called the customer service line, and apparently I did not get a friendly reply from them.

The sender, company whom I bought my stuff from is rather dissapointed with Skynet too. I asked the company if they have dealt with Skynet and how is the procedure like to complain. The lady in charge told me once she claimed a parcel from Skynet, and it tooks about few months to claim with loads of procedures. From her experience, she phoned quite a lot of times and have to push like madly to claim a parcel. (which is not worth her effort, she felt quite pissed off while claiming the parcel)

To wait for few months, just to claim for a broken ampoule. I don't wanna ruin my mood for the next few months phoning Skynet everyday and said "Hey, I want claim for my damaged parcel!" I have paid extra for courier service, and for twice I did not receive satisfying service; swapping parcel is unpardonable.

(Mind you, I'm a full time online shopper and I do loads of online shopping more than you expected, I know about shipping service. I am also building up my own online boutique, which I might need to engage a courier company for service. Skynet will NEVER be my choice for courier service, for casual or for business purpose.)

I hope by blogging here, everyone reads this. This is Skynet, the worst and the most inefficient courier service I have ever encountered.

SkyNet, I hope you read this. Should you need any further reference of what have happened, email me at valerie_lyw@hotmail.com

Charm

I should have posted this last week, I was a bit busy coping with some stuff recently until I have totally forgotten about this. So if you're wondering what on earth is Charm, where I used to work for the past few weeks, here it is. Lot 10, First Floor.

I Will Be

There's nothing I could say to you
Nothing I could ever do to make you see
What you mean to me
All the pain, the tears I cried
Still you never said goodbye
And now I know how far you'd go

I know I let you down
But it's not like that now
This time I'll never let you go

I will be all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

I thought that I had everything
I didn't know what life could bring
But now I see, honestly
You're the one thing I got right
The only one I let inside
Now I can breathe cause you're here with me

And if I let you down
I'll turn it all around
Cause I will never let you go

I will be all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life
I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

Cause without you I can't sleep
I'm not gonna ever ever let you leave
You're all I've got
You're all I want
And without you
I don't know what I'd do
I could never ever live a day without you
Here with me do you see
You're all I need

And I will be all that you want
And get myself together
Cause you keep me from falling apart
All my life (my life)
I'll be with you forever (forever)
To get you through the day
And make everything okay (okay)
I will be all that you want (I'll be)
And get myself together (get myself together)
Cause you keep me from falling apart

And all my life
You know I'll be with you forever
To get you through the day
And make everything okay

The Me

I have been optimistic, I'm speaking encouraging words. You might think I'm out of my mind now. I do care about my results, but this time I'm not clinging to the prospect, or in other words - belief that I'll achieve what as expected. I'm feeling pretty fine actually, and I have just finished my CV.

As I write my CV, I feel quite contented. It's not like I have won any celebrated awards nor I'm good at sports. I wrote quite a lot of things at "Curricular Activities Involved" section. Looking back, I was like.. WOW I CANT BELIEVE I HAVE DONE THAT. I feel really happy about the fact that I was given such opportunity to be involved in so many activities.

I could have done better in studies if I were to concentrate more on my grades, I thought. But thinking it again, if I given a choice..

1. CGPA 4.0, no curricular activities involved
2. Average CGPA, loads of curricular activities involved

I will go for the second one. Not getting A is not the end of everything, I have earned much more that is of unrivaled existence. I know there are loads of excellent students scoring good grades like 4.0, this and that. This is me, and I never regret my decision. Many people out there have better grades than me, it doesn't matter.

I don't wanna live for anyone, or be like someone.
I just wanna be me, the typical me.

Result Released

I don't feel anything at all. It's just, typical result that I always get. Nothing much to cheer or whip, which it's okay for me. I have already used to this, well it's the final semester already. What can I expect, a miracle?

I have tried my best already, and that's it.
I'm over it, end of story.

Dreams

Few weeks later I would have finished my final semester, and there I am graduating with diploma qualification. I'm truly upset these days, to the fact that I couldn't secure a scholarship for my advance diploma. (Maybe partial of my fees will be waived, don't know)

"For GOD SAKE, you're upset about this?! Do you ever think about how the others might have felt about your result?"

I know, the fact that everyone says so. I don't blame people for saying so, I do know that I'm not a whiz kid that scoring perfecto result. I never expect myself to score something like 4.0. It's just that, everything is turned off against me. The kind of feeling, of a typical person working so hard, wanted so badly to soar for better achievement in life.

My parents have been very supportive for whatever and everything I do. I'm very moved, really. I don't wanna let them down, the least thing I could do is to ease their burden and score a good result. Having my two siblings studying, I know that life aint easy for my family. I have always tried very hard to ease the burden of my family. The only way I'm going to pursue further is though scholarship, apparently I do not have much choice.

I'm not grumbling the fact that my family could not afford my studies in overseas or reputable universities. I just feel a bit upset, that I am not given a green light no matter how hard I tried. (I'm still very upset with the JPA thing, even though it has been for two years. Stupid quota thinggy, why aint everyone given a fair chance.)

Dreams, if only I were given a chance to soar. I learn that I should not put on high hopes because eventually the frustration and dissapointment that I'm going to get in return is something that I could not bear to lose.

Going back for Charm

Yesterday Mr Harry phoned me and said he wanna meet us up for some feedback on our job at Charm. Mr Alex came too and we discussed. He asked us whether we are able to help out for the coming weeks, I told him I could not make it. (To be honest, it is not convenient for me to travel there)

We arrived at SAD. The CGS new committee members were having meeting at Canteen foyer for the coming Career Fair. They worked really hard, I felt a bit of overwhelming realisation. I grinned, telling myself that I've done my part and now it is up to the new committee members. =)

Mr Alex called me today and asked if I'm able to work for Charm for these few days because he needs someone to help out urgently. For me, working for Charm is never an issue, but I have transport problem. It's not really convenient for me to travel to Lot 10. (I live on a hill that is not well located with any public transport) Then again, I let myself tranquilize for a moment.

I really wanna help out Charm. "I sayang kat Charm" just like what Is said. I paused my reading for a moment, I was reading "Shopaholic Takes Manhattan" - yes my favourite Sophie Kinsella shopaholic series! I arranged schedule and pleaded my dad for permission, well acquiescence actually.

So there it is, I'm going to Lot 10 tomorrow and this Friday! =)


LYRICS: A little Too Not Over You - David Archuleta
--------------------------------------------

It never crossed my mind at all
That's what I tell myself
What we had has come and gone
You're better off with someone else
It is for the best. I know it is
But I see you

Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside
And I turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Memories suppose to fade
What's wrong with my heart
Shake it off let it go
Didn't think it would be this hard
Should be strong, moving on
But I see you

Sometimes I try to hide
What I feel inside
And I turn around
You're with him now
I just can't figure it out

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Maybe I regret
Everything I said
No way to take it all back
Yeah
Now I'm on my own
How I let you go
I'll never understand
I'll never understand
Yeah, ohhh.

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
I'm just a little too not over you

Tell me why
You're so hard to forget
Don't remind me
I'm not over it
Tell me why
I can't seem to face the truth
And I really don't know what to do
I'm just a little too not over you

Not over you, ooh

Anesthetised.

- Starting final semester soon
- Final exam result is out on this coming Saturday

I have been anesthetised, emotionally. During this semester break, quite a lot of things took place. A lot of things came to my mind, dreams and aspirations.

Updated Play List

I finally updated the music play list at my sidebar. I'm not a modernised person and tend to be out-dated. Yeah you know, time passes and I'm getting old.

Ne-Yo
Shayne Ward
David Archuleta
Jesse McCartney
Jordin Sparks
Jessica Simpson

Basically these are the singers I like, great vocalists. And oh yeah, I love David's new song "A little too not over you". The lyrics will be up soon on next blog post.

NE YO -MAD
--------------

She's starin' at me,
I'm sittin', wonderin' what she's thinkin'.
Nobody's talkin',
'Cause talkin' just turns into screamin'.
And now is I'm yellin' over her,
She's yellin' over me.
All that that means
Is neither of us is listening,
And what's even worse
That we don't even remember why were fighting.
So both of us are Mad for...

Nothin' (Fighting for).
Nothin' (Crying for).
Nothin' (Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin' (No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no

And it gets me upset, girl
When you're constantly accusing.
(Askin' questions like you've already known).
We're fighting this war, baby
When both of us are losing.
(This ain't the way that love is supposed to go).

What happened to working it out
We've fall into this place
Where you ain't backin' down
And I ain't backin' down.
So what the hell do we do now...
It's all for...

Nothin' (Fighting for).
Nothin' (Crying for).
Nothin' (Whoahhh).
But we won't let it go for
Nothin' (No not for)
Nothin'.
This should be nothin' to a love like what we got.
Ohhh, baby...

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain...
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no

Oh baby this love ain't gonna be perfect
And just how good it's gonna be.
We can fuss and we can fight
Long as everything alright between us
Before we go to sleep.
Baby, we're gonna be happy.

I know sometimes
It's gonna rain
But baby, can we make up now
'Cause I can't sleep through the pain
(Cant sleep through the pain).

Girl, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me).
No, I don't wanna go to bed (Mad at you),
And I don't want you to go to bed (Mad at me)
Ohhh no no no...