C’est la vie.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I thought that if I hold on tight to beliefs and keep moving on the outcome will be rewarding; well at least encouraging. And what do I receive in the end, I don’t really know. I always believe that life is doing well on me; I have got great things in life to celebrate since I was born.

I wish to be someone who really deserves something, something that truly belongs to me without any hesitation. Anyway, there’s nothing much I can do but keep moving on.

C’est la vie.

Disappointed

At this moment, I’m numb to my thoughts articulation. I couldn’t figure out why though. Perhaps I should not have much expectation, especially people I do not really know, am I being too much?

I wish to be respected, as an individual who really deserves something. Rather than to take over something that is being discarded by people, in other words, leftover that is meant for forsaken people. Especially by people that have got no sense of accountability and fortitude.

In my candid opinion, at the point of time you take up the responsibility and should you know that you do not have the capacity or interest in it, why not be frank to yourself and everyone that you’re not in the capacity to take the responsibility? And you should have informed people whom you owe responsibility beforehand, rather than overtake without clarification.

I am the kind of person is pretty okay with everything with only a simple standpoint, I wish to be respected as a person who is there because of something, and not because there are vacancies; particularly vacancies that are thrust aside on unreasonable grounds.

Je sui désolé

Je sui désolé
(“I’m sorry” in French)

It’s been quite some time since I last updated my blog. Many crapping thoughts emerged to my pooped mindset, hitching through the vessels.

About the interview, it was the fastest interview that I have gone through so far. SAD director Mr Ang, our SBS Head of School Ms Kho and some other officers were there. They didn’t ask much about me, but more on financial grounds. I’m not really positive if I’m gonna be shortlisted, because I’m already a TARC Merit scholar. And that’s the stumbling block.

As what the other “institutions” might say, I am already a scholar of the college and opportunities shall be given to those who are needier and deprived. I have got nothing to say, frankly.

I think I did post a little poem on serendipity and someone asked me about it. So it goes like this. Few weeks back I wrote a letter to the college regarding my scholarship, in hope that the college will grant me with more fee waiver based on financial and academic grounds. (I knew that it’s not really possible, but still I wanted to give it a try) So I dropped by Mr Lam’s office too, showed him a cover letter, CV, etc. Tears welled in my eyes when Mr Lam said that I will never stand a chance, after he called Ms Say to verify this matter. It was kinda embarrassing, a ridiculous girl cries like a fool in front of her programme supervisor. Well almost cried.

At this point of time I feel that I should be conscientiousness towards my studies, my future and my life. I want to achieve something on my own, and live a life without regrets. It’s not a miserable plight so please do not feel sorry for me. It’s okay.

An Unforeseen Interview, at this moment

Advance Diploma. I kinda enjoy life at college at the moment. I am very glad and positive about the course I am undertaking.

I was not expecting anything else after I have received my result for Diploma. I have tried my best to do whatever I can. While I’m in the midst of recuperating, I received a call from SAD that I am shortlisted for an interview next week. It’s from The Star Education Fund.

I was very much stunned, seriously, at this moment. I have submitted my application few months back and I didn’t hear anything since then. (I have already paid the fees for my first semester by the way. Being shortlisted at this time is really surprising) There are times when I really wish to keep this to myself, because I don’t wanna make a big fuss like . HEY I’M GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW!

Because the chances are not that high though. I have faced loads of rejections for the past few months, and I think it would be okay for me. (if I could not make it next week) If I’m afraid of rejection and turn downs, I would not have undertaken any applications at the first place. A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.

This is gonna be the very last interview, I think. Keep fingers crossed, for the very last time.

Craving for Serendipity

Apologetic beseechingly
Pleading for serendipity and rhymes
Yet nothing has redeemed her turmoil
Succumbed to the heartbreaking realism

Ludicrous one may find
To opt for opportunity leads to a miserable plight
A silly hope that her arcane ecstasy shall be lucked
To allure the heart of her parents as well as people who cares

Well it's okay..
Happenstance that have occurred
Served her well in nurturing different chemistry
Forges with abundant luster
To redeem her bewildered heart
That craves for serendipity

10 Uplifting Quotes for a Depressed Heart

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew." -Saint Francis de Sales

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." -Stephan Hoeller

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."- Thich Nhat Hanh

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." - Greenville Kleisser


"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." -Helen Keller


"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."- C.S. Lewis

"The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being." -Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

"What you thought before has led to every choice you have made, and this adds up to you at this moment. If you want to change who you are physically, mentally, and spiritually, you will have to change what you think." -Dr. Patrick Gentempo

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness."
-Reinhold Niebuhr

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
-Leo Buscaglia