Dreams

Few weeks later I would have finished my final semester, and there I am graduating with diploma qualification. I'm truly upset these days, to the fact that I couldn't secure a scholarship for my advance diploma. (Maybe partial of my fees will be waived, don't know)

"For GOD SAKE, you're upset about this?! Do you ever think about how the others might have felt about your result?"

I know, the fact that everyone says so. I don't blame people for saying so, I do know that I'm not a whiz kid that scoring perfecto result. I never expect myself to score something like 4.0. It's just that, everything is turned off against me. The kind of feeling, of a typical person working so hard, wanted so badly to soar for better achievement in life.

My parents have been very supportive for whatever and everything I do. I'm very moved, really. I don't wanna let them down, the least thing I could do is to ease their burden and score a good result. Having my two siblings studying, I know that life aint easy for my family. I have always tried very hard to ease the burden of my family. The only way I'm going to pursue further is though scholarship, apparently I do not have much choice.

I'm not grumbling the fact that my family could not afford my studies in overseas or reputable universities. I just feel a bit upset, that I am not given a green light no matter how hard I tried. (I'm still very upset with the JPA thing, even though it has been for two years. Stupid quota thinggy, why aint everyone given a fair chance.)

Dreams, if only I were given a chance to soar. I learn that I should not put on high hopes because eventually the frustration and dissapointment that I'm going to get in return is something that I could not bear to lose.