Humanity

It hits me. As I live for the twentieth year, what I’m about to face in the coming years as I accumulate my birthday candles.

To be frank, I just don’t feel right or optimistic these days. Occurrence of the recent issues is not really encouraging, in addition to the pandemic world crisis and influenza. I feel thwarted with the current nation situation as well, as a person being raised up in a democratic background.

What’s on with the humanity? The turmoil of the crises has clouded the Malaysia’s outlook in all aspects, affecting people from all walks of life. I am not really into politics but I’m perceptive to mourn of deserving people. I’m a sympathetic person that is willing to work things out with pleasure given that impartiality and justice is achievable. And that’s why I’m a person that is rather conservative at times.

I really hope that God will bless and appreciate all the deserving people in this world, to hearten and inspire other people in a way that they realize what humanity and life is all about.

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.

And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow.
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place.

Kinda occupied lately

These days I'm adapting to my new age, there's a sense of alienation felt with the word "twenty". It clings with different thoughts and perception. May blog about some of it later, if I’m able to survive for four tests next week.

I’m really happy that I had a great birthday. It feels like it’s your big day, you have all the rights to do whatever you want on your birthday. I feel honoured, as a person accumulating another birthday candle on birthday cake.

I may post another post with the title “presents from love ones” soon, but I’m really tired these days so I really don’t wanna give any words of when I’m gonna publish the stuff. So just let it be at this moment, I’ll find ways to deal with things I have to deal with and things that I’m gonna do.

Few days back I received a birthday card from Jia Wen, all the way from Australia. It touches my heart, with the sentimental words and photos. Dear, thanks so much. I want you to know that no matter where you are, you will always be my best friend. I’ll always be there for you. =)

Merci Beaucoup!

Few weeks back, I filled up a survey form. At the personal particulars sections, there's a column where you state your age.

15-19 []
20-25 [ ]

I got kinda frustrated, thinking of how should i state my age. Females are typically discreet about age matters, and it's a valid excuse for me to be bothered bout this matter.

I had a memorable birthday this year. Two days before the day of my birth anniversary (aka birthday) Lin, Shing Tsu and me went to JJ for my pre-birthday celebration. I was really touched and happy.






Thanks sweeties! =) And we had great time window shopping.

On my 20th birthday, I received lots of wishes and presents from lovely friends. To me it's like no big deal, it's just a recognition that I'm a year older. (A sad case huh. haha)

I might post out some presents I receive for my birthday soon, now I'm kinda occupied with assignments and courseworks. My french language presentation is coming up next, oh god!

I'm aged 20 right now, officially. =) Thanks everyone for all the wishes and gifts.
Merci beaucoup!
(Which means "Thanks so much" in french)

C’est la vie.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I thought that if I hold on tight to beliefs and keep moving on the outcome will be rewarding; well at least encouraging. And what do I receive in the end, I don’t really know. I always believe that life is doing well on me; I have got great things in life to celebrate since I was born.

I wish to be someone who really deserves something, something that truly belongs to me without any hesitation. Anyway, there’s nothing much I can do but keep moving on.

C’est la vie.

Disappointed

At this moment, I’m numb to my thoughts articulation. I couldn’t figure out why though. Perhaps I should not have much expectation, especially people I do not really know, am I being too much?

I wish to be respected, as an individual who really deserves something. Rather than to take over something that is being discarded by people, in other words, leftover that is meant for forsaken people. Especially by people that have got no sense of accountability and fortitude.

In my candid opinion, at the point of time you take up the responsibility and should you know that you do not have the capacity or interest in it, why not be frank to yourself and everyone that you’re not in the capacity to take the responsibility? And you should have informed people whom you owe responsibility beforehand, rather than overtake without clarification.

I am the kind of person is pretty okay with everything with only a simple standpoint, I wish to be respected as a person who is there because of something, and not because there are vacancies; particularly vacancies that are thrust aside on unreasonable grounds.

Je sui désolé

Je sui désolé
(“I’m sorry” in French)

It’s been quite some time since I last updated my blog. Many crapping thoughts emerged to my pooped mindset, hitching through the vessels.

About the interview, it was the fastest interview that I have gone through so far. SAD director Mr Ang, our SBS Head of School Ms Kho and some other officers were there. They didn’t ask much about me, but more on financial grounds. I’m not really positive if I’m gonna be shortlisted, because I’m already a TARC Merit scholar. And that’s the stumbling block.

As what the other “institutions” might say, I am already a scholar of the college and opportunities shall be given to those who are needier and deprived. I have got nothing to say, frankly.

I think I did post a little poem on serendipity and someone asked me about it. So it goes like this. Few weeks back I wrote a letter to the college regarding my scholarship, in hope that the college will grant me with more fee waiver based on financial and academic grounds. (I knew that it’s not really possible, but still I wanted to give it a try) So I dropped by Mr Lam’s office too, showed him a cover letter, CV, etc. Tears welled in my eyes when Mr Lam said that I will never stand a chance, after he called Ms Say to verify this matter. It was kinda embarrassing, a ridiculous girl cries like a fool in front of her programme supervisor. Well almost cried.

At this point of time I feel that I should be conscientiousness towards my studies, my future and my life. I want to achieve something on my own, and live a life without regrets. It’s not a miserable plight so please do not feel sorry for me. It’s okay.