Je sui désolé

Je sui désolé
(“I’m sorry” in French)

It’s been quite some time since I last updated my blog. Many crapping thoughts emerged to my pooped mindset, hitching through the vessels.

About the interview, it was the fastest interview that I have gone through so far. SAD director Mr Ang, our SBS Head of School Ms Kho and some other officers were there. They didn’t ask much about me, but more on financial grounds. I’m not really positive if I’m gonna be shortlisted, because I’m already a TARC Merit scholar. And that’s the stumbling block.

As what the other “institutions” might say, I am already a scholar of the college and opportunities shall be given to those who are needier and deprived. I have got nothing to say, frankly.

I think I did post a little poem on serendipity and someone asked me about it. So it goes like this. Few weeks back I wrote a letter to the college regarding my scholarship, in hope that the college will grant me with more fee waiver based on financial and academic grounds. (I knew that it’s not really possible, but still I wanted to give it a try) So I dropped by Mr Lam’s office too, showed him a cover letter, CV, etc. Tears welled in my eyes when Mr Lam said that I will never stand a chance, after he called Ms Say to verify this matter. It was kinda embarrassing, a ridiculous girl cries like a fool in front of her programme supervisor. Well almost cried.

At this point of time I feel that I should be conscientiousness towards my studies, my future and my life. I want to achieve something on my own, and live a life without regrets. It’s not a miserable plight so please do not feel sorry for me. It’s okay.

An Unforeseen Interview, at this moment

Advance Diploma. I kinda enjoy life at college at the moment. I am very glad and positive about the course I am undertaking.

I was not expecting anything else after I have received my result for Diploma. I have tried my best to do whatever I can. While I’m in the midst of recuperating, I received a call from SAD that I am shortlisted for an interview next week. It’s from The Star Education Fund.

I was very much stunned, seriously, at this moment. I have submitted my application few months back and I didn’t hear anything since then. (I have already paid the fees for my first semester by the way. Being shortlisted at this time is really surprising) There are times when I really wish to keep this to myself, because I don’t wanna make a big fuss like . HEY I’M GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW!

Because the chances are not that high though. I have faced loads of rejections for the past few months, and I think it would be okay for me. (if I could not make it next week) If I’m afraid of rejection and turn downs, I would not have undertaken any applications at the first place. A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.

This is gonna be the very last interview, I think. Keep fingers crossed, for the very last time.