It's Business

It's not personal. It's business.

It's down to earth. No cloak and dagger stories or any surreptitious relationships. It's business.

Of different notions, we have to defend ourselves sequentially to survive in the vying and callous business world. It's a world of merciless, and we have to knock down others to live on, despite our friends or foes. After ruthless squabbles, we have to get along with them again after all the dramas, which I think is an intricate enigma that ought to be solved..

Awesome huh? It's complicated and inexplicable, on how people deal with tasks and people at the same time. It's a world of precarious and disgust, and we might have to slough off personal feelings when it comes to business. "Business" sounds like a big word huh? (I'm not even a quarter of diploma yet..lol =.=)

Works in any kind, homeworks, assignments or tasks. Yeah that's what I mean. When it comes to tasks, everyone is being egocentric because of own responsibility. No one cares if you're a nice person or not, or whether you are able to cope with it or not. If you slip, you are about to be hooted down..

Yes, i know the rules. Still, I feel that realism of the world out there is terrifying. I don't want to be idler or parasite, sitting around and doing nothing. I don't mind to be burden with tasks and I'd be really happy even it's a small and weightless task. I just want to be part of the team even though without any reputation.

Frankly, I don't know if I can contribute anything as I have no familiarity in these before. But I have vowed that I'll not take it as an excuse for absolution anymore. I do have something right, that is the tenacity of sincerity. =) well I don't know if it helps. I have promised myself that I will try my best to cope with the hasty pace, no matter how hard it is going to be. Gambateh Val.. you can make it..

I've been trying really hard to cope with things these days. It's hard.. but trust me, I'm not a slacker..

Why BLOG?

Your blog is the worst blog I've ever seen. *nodding head and sigh wearily* No traffic, no money generation , no reader, nothing! There's no reason for why you should blog, just shut down lah!

I've been blogging since 2 years ago, it initiates with the curiosity of mine. It was a trend which was very cool to own a blog, that was what I thought 2 years ago. (My previous blog) I installed complicated codes and it was a mess! Then finally I decided to start a new blog and keep it simple.

Throughout the years, I've learned many lessons through blogging. I realized that blogging is not just about keeping up with the Joneses or getting anything in return though I'm really envious of those great bloggers who earn a lot of money through blogging. (mind you, those Ads in my blog are not generating anything) To me, it's a process of growing up and being a better person from day to day. I really appreciated people who read my crapping blog, a big thank you to you all. =)

A friend of mine told me about this contest. The contest with prizes sponsored by 5xmom who runs the Make$ Money$ blog and she is contributing back to the blogging community with the money she earned. She will be giving away monthly prizes if this contest is popular. Please encourage your readers and friends to participate as well.

There are a lot of great blogs out there and her blog is one of my favourite that I've bookmarked. I believe that if we blog with a heart of sincerity, the readers would be able to feel the genuineness of the entries. It's not about winning the contest, because that's not the main thing about blogging. I'll blog about this, even without the competition.

You don't know me, well you don't have to. I'm just a typical blogger that has nothing much but a crapping blog.

Hey check out my blog!! I've posted something!!" I'm not saying that it's wrong, just that it'snot my style. I love to keep everything under the wraps. I'd never promote or solicit support to prop up my blog. You know, like putting up the blog link on lamp posts, walls (everywhere that is conspicuous) and publicizing as if seeking for ballot in election campaign.

My blog is the reflection of my true-self, of what I have stumbled in my daily life. Well is not like hullabaloo every single particular, but summarization of what I've learned and sharing it with other people. Blogging is like babbling my crapping thoughts, journalizing the encounters in my life and to be the better person I could be.

The reason why I never give up my blog (though no money generation, no traffic) is because I want to trace what I've learned in my daily life. I know they're gibberish and unfathomable, but it means a lot to me. I hope that someone would benefit something from it. Well, one is enough.

Every blogger has diverse intentions, styles and perceptions. There's no explicit answer for why one should blog, but there's something in common among bloggers. That is, bloggers have enthusiasm towards blogging and simply love to blog with gusto. =)

As a Whole

Being egocentric is not wrong in any kind, nor correct. We live in a life of ours and we tend to think on our standpoints that are very unlikely in other's shoes.

When we are wounded, we would blame everyone that comes across our mind. We'd blame God, for no one has the foggiest notion of what god plans for us. we'd blame other people, for not being understanding enough what we have been through. we blame everyone but never ourselves because we are the protagonist as we have our rights to believe what we think is right.

We are insatiable, don't we? We will never be pleased of what we have but we will definitely groan about what we do not have. That's what that'll stimulates us to attain something we are yearning to have. yeah well, acquiring something is good but it has to be done in moderation..

When there is a smudge on our shirt, do we discard our shirt? Certainly we'll buy all sorts of bleach to remove the dirt off the shirt. Think it as a whole, we do not snub our shirt for a little dirt on it right. (omg, what I'm talking about?) okay what I mean is, making fuss of small matters is superfluous. If we do so, we will not have enough time to cherish what we have.

Ravenousness will never make us feel better. If we haggle over little matters, we will lose things we have. =)

The Eyes

It's like the eyes of the tabloids, once they marked you, you are expected to do something really awesome. Like something that'll state your name in the book of Genius World Record. They gaze at you with anticipation, so you better don't screw up or you'll end up everything miserably. Watch out, they have eyes on you.

"Nah~ if you can't make it, who else can? Don't be so humble lahh.." That's what people tend to say when you tell that that you're not as good as they think. It's not about being modest, it's more like a kind of expectation and you're likely doing things flawless. Which means, you have to be wary of your steps or else you'll fall in humiliation.

"I'm even worst than you, you know that?" (sounds familiar? =p) Everyone is different and we all have our own clarification on how we evaluate what is good and bad. and yeah, our competence too. For some people (like me lar) , it's likely impossible for them to attain something which may be a piece of cake for others, no matter how hard they strive for it. It's not a shame in any kind because no one is perfect, be proud of who we are because we are who we are. =)

Sometimes I rather do things anonymously, to evade the possibility of being caught by the eyes. haha~ anyway.. I really hope that I'll not screw up everything..

Pit-Stop

In today's sophisticated world, keeping up with the Joneses is what we tend to do. Keeping on the track is what we all do, but then.. what is the main rationale behind it?

Life is full of ups and downs. There are times for us to chuckle, weep, trauma, relax. Nobody complains about the good times but everybody complains about the dreadful times. We are never satisfied, aren't we?

Often I reward myself with the small stuffs, which you may not want to know. haha~ A "reward" is like a pit-stop in life. A station for you to take a break before you carry on. You don't need to get yourself a huge trophy, as a tiny thing that cost you not much will do the trick.

yeah it's certain that we don't have sufficient time. Sometimes we wish that we have 48 hours in a day so that we can do many things simultaneously. What I mean is.. you just need to spend some time for yourself, to do you really what to do. It does not have to be something significant nor beneficial. You may do stuff like lying on the sofa with your MP3, crapping some stuff, blogging, or buying something for yourself. Well basically that's what I usually do..haha =)

The main thing is, you are doing this for yourself. That's what life is about, you will not lose anything by doing something good for yourself. Allocate some time for yourself and you will find that this is a pit-stop that's going to help you go further. yeah it works!

Making a Difference

"Have you ever wonder why must you study Hubungan Etnik?"

Ms Val questioned us abruptly. (Yes I know, same as my name) Matthew unequivocally answered "It has nothing to do with our course" without any doubt. I'm sure everyone, including me myself do not understand the government policies about this subject as we all have studied these in our History from Form1-5, and Moral as well.

Ms Val linked Mathew's answer to many sensitive social issues. Somehow, I don't know why I blurted out so much political issues when Ms Val asked. Not really political, social issues I think. I can't believe myself that I actually crapped that much~ o.O

I'm not good in political stuff, and I seldom read newspaper. (busy until no time to read newspaper?) But when it comes to one's welfare, I feel terribly gloomy for those needy people out there. Those deprived, and not able to survive in the rat race. I wish somehow I could help those who need help out there~

Many social issues erupted these days that concerns teenagers. The phenomenon is very common when people form a sweeping judgment that teenagers nowadays is bad-mannered and they do not contribute anything but accumulate as rubbish to the society! I feel offended when I heard that..

There a many things that do not lay in front of our eyes. Life is not easy for them and we as outsider do not comprehend how they feel. They are not very lucky like us because they grown up in an environment that forbid them to pursue good education.

Back to the schooling days, we are always required to write essay about the social problems in the society. One of the factors will surely be the family problems. We write, write, and write about their faults and the right remedy to solve the problem. Writing is much easier when it comes to implementation. When we were writing (dengan syok-nya) do we actually sense the real situation?

People, please don't blame them for their predicament. There are many talents out there with great aptitudes and were not given a chance to pursue education. Malaysia is a multiracial county with the mixture of many cultures. However there are a lot of things which are forbidden, which can't be seen..

People! Follow your bliss, listen what your heart has to say. Don't fret because you are not alone anguishing this alienation. Trust your intuition and do the right thing. When there is a will, there is a hope. I believe that if we dare to make the first move, we will make a difference in our life and also make an impact towards the others.

Even though we hoard the whole world, we won't be satisfied and ever content with what we have. The greatest pleasure is to do good to another and make an impact towards other's life..

努力.改变

曾经以为
只要努力就可以弥补一切
但是有时候尽管多么地努力
仍然改变不了自己的不足
也无法改变事实

成功对别人来说
只是很普通既轻易的事情
然而对有些人而言
成功是不可能浮现的字眼

因为自己较迟钝
所以不管做什么事情
都要比他人多付出及努力
这种过程真的好累好累
(天哪怎么自己那么愚蠢啊~)

有时候很想放弃
但是后来犹豫自己的决定
原来自己是多么没有方向感
真的很希望自己能像别人那样
希望自己拥有一双翅膀
自由飞翔到自己想去的地方

真的很希望
总有一天有人会记得我的名字
记得我是位平凡既努力改变自己的女孩

Techie or Not

Feeling really sick these days. The unbearable weather makes me lazy to get out of the air-corn room. I want stay in my room for the rest of my life!! Haha..

Sometime I wonder, what is going to happen to me without technology. (Forgive me, I have a task to do this week) I have to write an essay about a technology that I can't live without. Technology.. hate it or love it!

I think I'm kinda technophobe, technically. I don't get it. How are we going to race with the pace of the technology? I mean, the moment we bought something new (definitely cost a lot) and then not long later we are risen with the latest technology. And then, we are tagged with "Hey mate, you are out of date!"

That is the main reason why I don't want to buy another handphone. Change, to be exact. I want to buy a new model as mine is kinda out of date. With only 1 mega pixels, duh.. Either keep on the pace or you are being left behind. That's the fact because technology changes rapidly.

So, practically I'm in between. Half-techie!! Hehe, kinda proud of that. I love technology but that doesn't make me a techie though. I love to be in between.

Life

Imagine you witnessed your beloved one being cremated. You saw the coffin being pushed into the crematory (into the oven). You stood there, trying to reach your hand towards the coffin. Your tears rolled down the cheeks and you couldn't stop yelling his/her name. After that, everything turned into ashes including the corpse (your beloved one) and the coffin. Nothing was spared but the skeleton (the bones). You picked the skeleton (which was unrecognizable broken pieces) from the ashes with chopsticks and arranged the pieces accordingly (from head to toe) into a bottle and sealed it.

Holding the bottle in your arms, you couldn't stop sobbing. This, bottle of thing is a life of a human being. This is your beloved one, yesterday he/she was talking to me but today he/she is gone forever, turned into ashes and being kept in the bottle. God took him/her away from us without a reason, we keep on questioning but God tend not answer us.

Do this kind of situation sounds familiar to you? Maybe yes, maybe no. In person, I had been through this two years ago and it gave a huge impact on me. After that incident two years ago, I began to have faith about life. I began to know what is life about. It's ok, if you do not understand. (I'm crapping, as always..)

Kinda moody these days.. ahh.. There is a friend of mine, did I mention this before? He suffered catastrophe last year..if you could remember. He is getting well, but still unconscious. He was transferred to another hospital in Pandan Indah not long ago.

I was very down in the spur of moment. It has been a long time..about 6 months plus. When I was in NS, there was a moment that suddenly I thought of him. I contacted his dad (the very first time) and his dad was shocked though. Yea, what to do? I heard nothing from anyone and I was curious about his progress. (Man, I was so brave..) Hey friend, must take care okay..be tough! You can make it!! =)

I don't know, after witnessing that incident 2 years ago, I started to cherish the life of every living thing. I would cry for anyone who suffered mishaps, well sometime. (Don't freak out ok) This is true, I don't know why though. (Weird huh?) As the days marched on relentlessly, I had straightened out my thinking.

"Cherish our life" is something that is something that we should do, the next phrase which I think that will rhyme is "Live our life to the fullest, have no regrets!"

Pray Hard and Move On..

Yea, after a few days of loafing around the house, kinda bored. These days, I have nothing to do. Well um, except for waiting interview calls? Anyway, we must have back-up plans right?

I've checked the forums, blogs, spent a whole day checking on JPA stuffs. JPA is for students with full A1s. Yea, full straight A1s. Even student with full A1s doesn't guarantee a scholarship. How crucial it is! This is the reality..

Besides, there is quota for the non-bumiputeras. The issue was hyped a long time ago and the fact that we, as non-bumis has less chances than the bumis. So, let say we have to choose, would you choose student with all A1s or with some A2s? Let's face the reality guys.. There is a saying tell us that, getting a JPA scholarship is like winning a lottery.

Competing with the best students among the best in Malaysia, can you imagine how competitive it is? I'm just, a tiny portion standing behind them. People says that "Wow, Val you are outstanding!". When you are in the competition like this, you will actually know what "outstanding" stands for. I'm not as good as you all think..

That day I had interview with 6 candidates, all of them had excellence result in academic. Me? I'm nothing being compared to them. I'm not good enough in my curricular activities, I have to admit that. Being a librarian for about 5 years is just not enough. Oww..

"We actually expect that you will get about 5As, or less," quoted by my mum. (Mum, stop being so crucial to your daughter!) Haha.. Getting the result that I have always wanted is really headache. This is true, if cukup makan, I could just close my eyes and pick any college. When it is more than cukup makan, there are a lot of choices and boundaries out there.

Fail to get JPA is not the end of the world. We all know that the chances are low. According to the statistics, it is almost impossible for students with no full straight A1s, especially non-bumis to obtain an offer from JPA. This is true, but miracle does happen sometime. Meanwhile praying so hard for JPA these few weeks, why don't we move on..

Yea, that's right. All the best to the pre-scholars..

Behind The Scenes

Many things altered. Response from parent, siblings, teachers, friends..I don't know how to face in the spur of moment. Even now I still can't believe what had happened..

I'm not a genius or born with talents for academic studies. I'm totally careless, clumsy and blur. (My mum can certified that, hehe!) Whenever we had government exams such as PTS, UPSR, PMR, SPM, my mum will walk around to temple and earnestly hope for blessing. You know, superstitious stuffs.

If you had noticed, my 2B pencils for exams were all chanted with incantations and red chops. My friends burst into laughter when they saw that. My mum knew that she couldn't help us in our studies, the only thing she could do is pray for us and did all the things for the sake of blessings. I was very touched though. Last year, there was a time when she went to Kedah for a few days. She called home and asked about my SPM angka giliran. I thought that she want to buy 4D, Toto, Magnum or something like that. Guess what? She “put” my name and angka giliran in a temple, something like that. And the interesting part was, the bomoh (what do you call that in English?) will chant my name and my angka giliran everyday for three months. It is something like this..

Lee Yin Wan, Angka Giliran WL071A070. Blessed her with good results in SPM. Blaalaaa...mali mali hom~
(Can you believe what my mum did? Oh my god..)

However, I appreciated all the good deeds she did for me. Although they sound really hilarious though, they were blessings from my mum. That day I told my parent about my result in phone, their voice of gratification was the best reward I ever received.

When I met Miss Chan See Ling, "Congratulations, your dad must be very proud of you!" I was like, huh huh.. I don't know what to say but nodding my head. I remembered that day I went to Cikgu Suzana, she almost broke into tears and hugged me. I will always remember the smell of her lipstick. Hehez!

When people ask, how is your daughter result? My dad unequivocally feels very proud to tell the others about it. Yea, my mum too. All the phone calls, aunties called and asked about my results. For once, my mum could show-off a bit in front of her friends. Erm, not actually show-off lar, my mum is a humble person. When the others said "Wahh, ur daughter so clever!", the feeling of honor as a mum, you know..

The end of secondary school education marks the beginning of a new life. A great result doesn’t assure a great future. We don't know what lays ahead us, but I believe that we are never given a wish without also a power to make it come true. =)

Blogger or Reader?

This is, well umm..another draft. Quite sometime already being left behind in the draft corner. I wrote this a few months ago after I read someone's blog.
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Does anyone actually read his/her own posts?
Does anyone had headache whether should post the entry they had typed?
Do you think thrice before you post something?

When we blog, people read our mind and we are likely manipulating the readers. When we read, as a reader, we are not bothering that we are actually part of the story. We are just, anonymous. Even though something is obviously not right, but then we do not speak out. We have no right to do that because we are just a pass-by-er. When we blog, we are the protagonist and free to talk about anything. Eventually we don't realize that we are hurting others' feelings.

This is my blog and I have my right to blog anything I'd want.
True. But how would you feel when you are not yourself but you are actually a reader reading your own blog?

Throughout the year, I've learnt a lesson through blogging that actually developed myself to a different person. I'm not a great blogger as the others. This is not about blogging but a wisdom that we should all apply in our daily hectic life.

Six Sense or Sensitive?

Gals have six sense. Or, are they just being too sensitive?

Hey I have six sense! Or maybe I'm just too sensitive? Oops! I mean very sensitive. I'd have a bad feeling about something that could happen, sometime. I can feel the sincerity about a person. You know, people with good and bad intentions.

Have you ever curb your cries and anger even though you are deeply and madly hurt? I am a bad person. I neglected people and always being heartless. I felt really bad for what I did. Eventually I cried for being a nice person. (Okay, I cannot deny this)

Sometime things may look nice to us, but not for the others. Everyone is different. We love what we love but the others don't. We are nice, but the others don't think so. Our words are cunning and likely razorblades but we don't realize.

Every human being lives as an observer. We'd observe all the happenings around us. Everything happens for a reason. Reasons that we couldn't foresee. That's the answer to our queries. Curbing our anger or cries will not help, in any way. Listen to the rhythm of our life, you'll find that it's a magnificent art.

Or, perhaps the so-called SIX SENSE is just a metaphor.
Gals are too-over-sensitive right?

An unexpected tragedy

Everyone was shocked. He was the uncle that used to jog everyday. His head was..*oh never mind* I don't want anyone throwing up in front of the computer.

By the way, an important lesson for today..
- NEVER HAVE YOUR FOOD IN FRONT OF COMPUTER –

It was a starling news. He's the old man who used to jog everyday, has a disabled wife. He loves orchids, especially my mum's. Everyone was standing there with sorrowful and glistening eyes. The traffic was unsustainable. The gossipers started their daily routine..

Every human being was put here to serve his or her own specific purpose. We may not know what it is but we are hopefully to fulfill the glory of the God intended us to do. Tragedies occur everyday and human beings, as the tiny portion dot on the globe can't change anything. People used to cling to the past-memories that will never be true.

Everyone has worth, even as a stranger. Strangers' existence may not be vital, however without them, our life will never be the same.

Merdeka

The word MERDEKA to me is about humming "Keranamu Malaysia." The obvious thing that I love about merdeka is holiday!=P Haha! The other one is about having flags flying everywhere. (I'm not really patriotic lorr..hehe!) Hmm, I think Merdeka is about gaining our freedom, loving our country and a day ought to be a day of remembrance. Not to forget, holiday!

It's a time for reflections on triumphs and glories. The financial crisis, the trauma in 1969, etc. Merdeka is not merely about freedom but the struggle endured that makes it more meaningful. Basically this is just what I know because my history sucks. I don't really like politics, Ish~ beyond the understanding of a stupid girl like me. Hehe!

The diversity of people of different races and religions, the beauty of our land (pretty ar?), the splendor of different cultures, friends of different races, this is our country, Malaysia. Despite being multiracial, multilingual and multicultural, we are Malaysian! Malaysia Boleh~!

Happi Birthdae Malaysia!

Evaluation

When the euphoria of being praised and admired is in the space, who cares about the knockouts? Why there is discrimination? Is exterior important? I mean, who doesn't like good-looking gals/boys? We often wish that we were Paris Hilton or maybe an idealized model.

I think looks are capricious, we don't know what lays behind the mask. Good-looking people get special treatments and attentions while as for the others, they always being haunted by cruel criticism. We always wish that we are blessed with good-looking but unfortunately we aren't. Sometime we blamed everyone for our predicament, even the God. (I dun think "predicament" is the right word to describe)

Demure, gentle, sweet, cute or docile; we use all these words to describe the so-called "angels". This implies that people wearing braces (like me lar) are none of them but a monster. People identify us by just merely looks and some even vote to decide who is the belle.

No offence to anyone or me, just my thoughts. Look is just an image. If we judge by what we see and not by what we feel, soon or later we will realize and cry. Life is too short to care what the other thinks about us, as long as we are happy with ourselves and it's already sufficient.

- Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder -

Friend

Human beings are social creatures. They strive for companionship with others. Almost everyone has one, and almost everyone is one. There's something about a true friend that cannot be duplicated. Everyone has their own definition of what their own true friend is like and what an impact he/she has made in their life. Most of those we call "friends" are just merely acquaintances. People whom we met at school, people who we met at tuition center, people who just drop to say "hi", etc.

Someone asked me, "How many friends do you have?" To be honest, i don't have the answer. Do you? Do you count how many friends u have? I mean, every single one?

Is it really important to have many friends? What is the use when you have plenty but none of them really understand you and concern about you? I have seen people with dozens of friends. I don’t know, but for me I think I don't need thousands or millions of them. Just a few true ones. That’s enough.

We need friends that really understand our soul and help us when we are down, turn us frown upside-down, and make us feel better about ourselves. A true friend is a title held for the few and privileged. The term cannot be thrown around loosely. Not just anyone can be called your true friend. They are people who help you be more yourself.

Samba Kick

What could it be if it is not World Cup '06? It's the biggest global party ever. Football fever! It's time for guys having a hard time to choose between hanging out with girlfriend or watching football match. Hmm, hard to decide? Guys, guys, aren't they?

Oh by the way, I’m not a football fan, mind u. I just don't get why people would like sweating in the hot sun just to chase a ball. Aiya, just go to another field and buy a ball to play lar,what for want to fight with each other for just a ball? Haiyo~ Take my bro as a good example, he didn't go home yesterday. He went to VRJ to watch football match. He rather watches football than sleeping in house?

For guys who doesn't like football, that's abnormal. There is only one condition where a guy will give up football, when his girlfriend gets mad. Hahaha. We have to admit that some girls do enjoy football. Er, just like the Gol & Gincu series, the girls love futsall a lot. (I’m a TV freak, I watch almost everything)

You know the girl in "Gol & Gincu". She loves football because of his ex-bf. His ex- broke up with her because she doesn't love football and another girl who loves football attracted the guy. They chat the about same topic, football. I think it's crap for a girl to force herself to love football. (Well, cinta itu buta kan?)

Football. Maybe I don't really understand what is it about. Basically it's about guys sweating just to chase a ball. Oh yea, not to forget. Some good-looking guys!!


For guys, sleep early and never ignore your girlfriend if you have one.
For girls, look out at the handsome guys!It's time that the world gets together in unity and harmony. Football!