It's alright

Woke up in tousled hair I find
Wandered in a questioning mind
Contemplating if it’s the right wind
To undertake an one way ticket that binds

As I aroused from idle
Realizing the conundrum is such a knotty puzzle
I filled up the gaps at my twaddle
In hope that I’m not gonna straggle
With such muddle and tangle

Hey, it’s alright
To let go tears we’ve been holding tight
Once in a while, when we’re on a plight
And when the answers are not attainable in sight
The truth may disguised in the light
If we give’em a try in the night
Who knows we might get it right

It's alright

Valerie Rhinestone Ring

I was browsing through Forever21 website. I saw a ring called "Valerie Rhinestone Ring". Awesome dont you think? Forever21 named it Valerie, why huh?


Valerie Rhinestone Ring


: FINAL SALE - A polished metal ring with a large round rhinestone set in prongs with miniature heart cutout accents on the side.
- 0.5" approx dia rhinestone x 1.1" wide band
- Imported.
ProductCode: 1061208962

The top I wore.

I looked into my wardrobe, trying to locate the best outfit to put on. I realized two things: I need a bigger wardrobe & I do not have much formal attire in plain colours. (well I could have, but they were no where to be found at that moment)

I saw my Disney formal top hanging at the corner, with lonesome of my ignorance. It wasn’t childish Disney top, it’s very formal with some cute words behind it. It’s my first formal top I have ever got in my life. My mum bought that for me, and it was quite expensive as I remembered.

It clasps substantial touch and connotation to me. Two years back, I wore it for my very first interview at Taylors college. I looked rather smart that time, walked into the interview room with blessings from everyone. Well more and more interviews came to view later on; I ended up studying in TARC. I remembered I wore my Disney formal top during my diploma scholarship presentation ceremony two years back.

Two years later, here I am, another scholarship presentation ceremony. As I put on the same top and looked into the mirror, I saw my reflection and thoughts loomed to my mind.

“I’m here today attending this ceremony as a scholar, wearing the same top, with the same conviction and aspiration.”

Humanity

It hits me. As I live for the twentieth year, what I’m about to face in the coming years as I accumulate my birthday candles.

To be frank, I just don’t feel right or optimistic these days. Occurrence of the recent issues is not really encouraging, in addition to the pandemic world crisis and influenza. I feel thwarted with the current nation situation as well, as a person being raised up in a democratic background.

What’s on with the humanity? The turmoil of the crises has clouded the Malaysia’s outlook in all aspects, affecting people from all walks of life. I am not really into politics but I’m perceptive to mourn of deserving people. I’m a sympathetic person that is willing to work things out with pleasure given that impartiality and justice is achievable. And that’s why I’m a person that is rather conservative at times.

I really hope that God will bless and appreciate all the deserving people in this world, to hearten and inspire other people in a way that they realize what humanity and life is all about.

There's a place in your heart
And I know that it is love
And this place could be much
Brighter than tomorrow.

And if you really try
You'll find there's no need to cry
In this place you'll feel
There's no hurt or sorrow.
There are ways to get there
If you care enough for the living
Make a little space, make a better place.

Kinda occupied lately

These days I'm adapting to my new age, there's a sense of alienation felt with the word "twenty". It clings with different thoughts and perception. May blog about some of it later, if I’m able to survive for four tests next week.

I’m really happy that I had a great birthday. It feels like it’s your big day, you have all the rights to do whatever you want on your birthday. I feel honoured, as a person accumulating another birthday candle on birthday cake.

I may post another post with the title “presents from love ones” soon, but I’m really tired these days so I really don’t wanna give any words of when I’m gonna publish the stuff. So just let it be at this moment, I’ll find ways to deal with things I have to deal with and things that I’m gonna do.

Few days back I received a birthday card from Jia Wen, all the way from Australia. It touches my heart, with the sentimental words and photos. Dear, thanks so much. I want you to know that no matter where you are, you will always be my best friend. I’ll always be there for you. =)

Merci Beaucoup!

Few weeks back, I filled up a survey form. At the personal particulars sections, there's a column where you state your age.

15-19 []
20-25 [ ]

I got kinda frustrated, thinking of how should i state my age. Females are typically discreet about age matters, and it's a valid excuse for me to be bothered bout this matter.

I had a memorable birthday this year. Two days before the day of my birth anniversary (aka birthday) Lin, Shing Tsu and me went to JJ for my pre-birthday celebration. I was really touched and happy.






Thanks sweeties! =) And we had great time window shopping.

On my 20th birthday, I received lots of wishes and presents from lovely friends. To me it's like no big deal, it's just a recognition that I'm a year older. (A sad case huh. haha)

I might post out some presents I receive for my birthday soon, now I'm kinda occupied with assignments and courseworks. My french language presentation is coming up next, oh god!

I'm aged 20 right now, officially. =) Thanks everyone for all the wishes and gifts.
Merci beaucoup!
(Which means "Thanks so much" in french)

C’est la vie.

There are only two ways to live your life. One is as though is a miracle. The other is as though everything is a miracle.

I thought that if I hold on tight to beliefs and keep moving on the outcome will be rewarding; well at least encouraging. And what do I receive in the end, I don’t really know. I always believe that life is doing well on me; I have got great things in life to celebrate since I was born.

I wish to be someone who really deserves something, something that truly belongs to me without any hesitation. Anyway, there’s nothing much I can do but keep moving on.

C’est la vie.

Disappointed

At this moment, I’m numb to my thoughts articulation. I couldn’t figure out why though. Perhaps I should not have much expectation, especially people I do not really know, am I being too much?

I wish to be respected, as an individual who really deserves something. Rather than to take over something that is being discarded by people, in other words, leftover that is meant for forsaken people. Especially by people that have got no sense of accountability and fortitude.

In my candid opinion, at the point of time you take up the responsibility and should you know that you do not have the capacity or interest in it, why not be frank to yourself and everyone that you’re not in the capacity to take the responsibility? And you should have informed people whom you owe responsibility beforehand, rather than overtake without clarification.

I am the kind of person is pretty okay with everything with only a simple standpoint, I wish to be respected as a person who is there because of something, and not because there are vacancies; particularly vacancies that are thrust aside on unreasonable grounds.

Je sui désolé

Je sui désolé
(“I’m sorry” in French)

It’s been quite some time since I last updated my blog. Many crapping thoughts emerged to my pooped mindset, hitching through the vessels.

About the interview, it was the fastest interview that I have gone through so far. SAD director Mr Ang, our SBS Head of School Ms Kho and some other officers were there. They didn’t ask much about me, but more on financial grounds. I’m not really positive if I’m gonna be shortlisted, because I’m already a TARC Merit scholar. And that’s the stumbling block.

As what the other “institutions” might say, I am already a scholar of the college and opportunities shall be given to those who are needier and deprived. I have got nothing to say, frankly.

I think I did post a little poem on serendipity and someone asked me about it. So it goes like this. Few weeks back I wrote a letter to the college regarding my scholarship, in hope that the college will grant me with more fee waiver based on financial and academic grounds. (I knew that it’s not really possible, but still I wanted to give it a try) So I dropped by Mr Lam’s office too, showed him a cover letter, CV, etc. Tears welled in my eyes when Mr Lam said that I will never stand a chance, after he called Ms Say to verify this matter. It was kinda embarrassing, a ridiculous girl cries like a fool in front of her programme supervisor. Well almost cried.

At this point of time I feel that I should be conscientiousness towards my studies, my future and my life. I want to achieve something on my own, and live a life without regrets. It’s not a miserable plight so please do not feel sorry for me. It’s okay.

An Unforeseen Interview, at this moment

Advance Diploma. I kinda enjoy life at college at the moment. I am very glad and positive about the course I am undertaking.

I was not expecting anything else after I have received my result for Diploma. I have tried my best to do whatever I can. While I’m in the midst of recuperating, I received a call from SAD that I am shortlisted for an interview next week. It’s from The Star Education Fund.

I was very much stunned, seriously, at this moment. I have submitted my application few months back and I didn’t hear anything since then. (I have already paid the fees for my first semester by the way. Being shortlisted at this time is really surprising) There are times when I really wish to keep this to myself, because I don’t wanna make a big fuss like . HEY I’M GOING FOR AN INTERVIEW!

Because the chances are not that high though. I have faced loads of rejections for the past few months, and I think it would be okay for me. (if I could not make it next week) If I’m afraid of rejection and turn downs, I would not have undertaken any applications at the first place. A rejection is nothing more than a necessary step in the pursuit of success.

This is gonna be the very last interview, I think. Keep fingers crossed, for the very last time.

Craving for Serendipity

Apologetic beseechingly
Pleading for serendipity and rhymes
Yet nothing has redeemed her turmoil
Succumbed to the heartbreaking realism

Ludicrous one may find
To opt for opportunity leads to a miserable plight
A silly hope that her arcane ecstasy shall be lucked
To allure the heart of her parents as well as people who cares

Well it's okay..
Happenstance that have occurred
Served her well in nurturing different chemistry
Forges with abundant luster
To redeem her bewildered heart
That craves for serendipity

10 Uplifting Quotes for a Depressed Heart

"Have patience with all things, but chiefly have patience with yourself. Do not lose courage in considering your own imperfections but instantly set about remedying them -- every day begin the task anew." -Saint Francis de Sales

"A pearl is a beautiful thing that is produced by an injured life. It is the tear [that results] from the injury of the oyster. The treasure of our being in this world is also produced by an injured life. If we had not been wounded, if we had not been injured, then we will not produce the pearl." -Stephan Hoeller

"Sometimes your joy is the source of your smile, but sometimes your smile can be the source of your joy."- Thich Nhat Hanh

"Good humor is a tonic for mind and body. It is the best antidote for anxiety and depression. It is a business asset. It attracts and keep friends. It lightens human burdens. It is the direct route to serenity and contentment." - Greenville Kleisser


"Character cannot be developed in ease and quiet. Only through experience of trial and suffering can the soul be strengthened, ambition inspired, and success achieved." -Helen Keller


"Pain insists upon being attended to. God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks in our consciences, but shouts in our pains. It is his megaphone to rouse a deaf world."- C.S. Lewis

"The greatest degree of inner tranquility comes from the development of love and compassion. The more we care for the happiness of others, the greater is our own sense of well-being." -Tenzin Gyatso, the 14th Dalai Lama

"What you thought before has led to every choice you have made, and this adds up to you at this moment. If you want to change who you are physically, mentally, and spiritually, you will have to change what you think." -Dr. Patrick Gentempo

"Nothing worth doing is completed in our lifetime,
Therefore, we are saved by hope.
Nothing true or beautiful or good makes complete sense in any immediate context of history;
Therefore, we are saved by faith.
Nothing we do, however virtuous, can be accomplished alone.
Therefore, we are saved by love.
No virtuous act is quite as virtuous from the standpoint of our friend or foe as from our own;
Therefore, we are saved by the final form of love, which is forgiveness."
-Reinhold Niebuhr

"Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around."
-Leo Buscaglia

A lil on Genting Trip

*Disclaimer*
I do not hold responsibility to any damage caused as a result of reading this post. Please do not have your food or drink while you're reading this.

These pictures were not taken by the blog owner, although the person shown in pictures might is very identical to this blog owner. (Apparently that was me, I swear it wasn't my idea.)

The pictures and description are quoted directly from Voon's Friendster photo album.

Part1:Nobody

Part 2: Val appear

Part 3: getting far

Part4 :very nice pose wor...haha..^^

Part 5:gOing somewhere

Part6: Where she gO?



Don't beat me. I know it is very puffed up. Do I look like one has overweening pride and narcissistic to take those pictures? No right?!

*Denying with much confident*
I was the one who assorted to Voon's camera obsession. I was innocent.

I uploaded the pictures to Facebook, rather than blog as it's really difficult to post so many pictures here. There were a lot of fun and wild moments, which I think it happened at the last night of our stay there.

Disclaimer: If you notice any one in the videos that is very identical to me, it's not me. That was, erm.. somebody else. (In another words, yes it was me. I was forced)

Someone forced me to check my height with it, which was meant for kids. Obviously I'm higher than 153cm and I'm not a kid. *swt*

Five of us after watching Dreamz. Pity Cheok Leong, he said his skin tone was too dark to be noticed in the photograph.

Well you know. Taking photo with white lion is kinda expensive. So we figured out a budget-free method.

Take pictures with White Lion poster.
See? Cost Free!

Damn Tired

I am.. I am.. VERY EXHAUSTED.

It's been quite sometime since I last updated my blog. So okay, I'm back for Charm in Isetan KLCC. And I'm having two days leave for my trip to Genting with my classmates.

I should be agitated right now but I'm feeling damn tired. It's like.. I have not slept for ages since last Monday.

@@

Marveled.

I have just watched The Devil Wears Prada. I am always a century behind the trend, I know. In fact I have not watched High School Musical 3, yet. And Confession of Shopaholic. :( Anyway back to the story, I just grasp a feeling that cling with my contemplation. And it makes me wonder, big time.

Life is not only about you, and it’s not about me. It’s about other people that we live with, people we love. As people cling on to one SELF, one will believe that his or her life sucks big time more than anyone else in this world.

Why do I have to face this in life.
Why cant people just be more understanding to understand the ordeal that I’m going through.
Nobody understands my predicament, it feels like dying.

I have had enough with people like this. There are times I really wanna say “Stop the fuss and live with it. Be like a grown up person.” But it never happened to me that I would talk to people with such gesture. You know me.

I really don’t wanna make the fuss out of little matters. It’s not the matter that I don’t wanna share, I’m not egocentric. But sometimes it feels even worse when people is sedating with reassuring words. It dampens everything.

At times, I just need someone to tap on my shoulder and say "You're doing great today".

Another Red Light

Although your academic results and qualifications are impressive; however, we are regret to inform that the Foundation has extended the opportunity to other candidates who are more in need.

Once again, we thank you for your application and efforts. We wish you every success in your future academics.

I always look things at the bright side, being sanguine at all opportunities. However this time, it didn’t hit me much. I didn’t feel anything much about it, except for.. was I not in need as much as others?

That sentence hits me.

Through the Rain

When you get caught in the rain with no where to run
When you're distraught and in pain without anyone
When you keep crying out to be saved
But nobody comes and you feel so far away
That you just can't find your way home
You can get there alone
It's okay, what you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain
And if you keep falling down don't you dare give in
You will arise safe and sound, so keep pressing on steadfastly
And you'll find what you need to prevail
What you say is

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

And when the rain blows, as shadows grow close don't be afraid
There's nothing you can't face
And should they tell you you'll never pull through
Don't hesitate, stand tall and say

I can make it through the rain
I can stand up once again on my own
And I know that I'm strong enough to mend
And every time I feel afraid I hold tighter to my faith
And I live one more day and I make it through the rain

I can make it through the rain
And I stand up once again
And I live one more day
And I can make it through the rain
(Yes you can)
You will make it through the rain

Interview & Scholarship

As the saying goes, there is no free lunch in this world. The better ones will have priority over others.

After what I've been through for the past few years, I learned that I should not put on high hopes. On the other hand, I understand that I should be vigilant of opportunities available and never give up. If I couldn't bear the rejection, I shouldn't have applied for scholarship at the first place.

I recalled how excited I was when I received phone call from the HR manager. She's such a nice lady, she congratulated me. After the interview, I feel like being evoked to the realism of competition. They told me that I will be informed for another interview if I'm shortlisted.

I really hope I'll be shortlisted, but if I am not.. it's okay, I'll move on.
I should not put on high hopes, I'll just keep fingers crossed. If I'm not shortlisted, I'm going to be a person better than yesterday and prove to the world that "You all will regret for not choosing me".

A call that made my day!

The last day of my Diploma, after Tamadun exam and MYOB external exam this Saturday I'm going to be a free bird. Well, at least free for a month as Advance Diploma is commencing next month. Going to write a final review of my two years of studies in TARC after exam.

I received a call from Lion Group yesterday after office hour at 7pm. To my surprise it was the HR manager, she verified my email and told me I'm shortlisted to go for an interview next Monday. I was so really glad! Hooray, I'm going for an interview!

If I succeed in this interview, it's going to make a difference in my studies as well as my career path. Keep fingers crossed for my exams this Saturday and my interview on Monday!

*Pss*
Mum said I should wear my G2000 blouse next Monday, which I think it's too cute for the interview =.=

Tired

People surrounding me are in a tensed ambiance lately. The apprehension could penetrate and infiltrate through the concealment of mine.

I feel tired.